Q. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A. When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.
(www.jokepier.com)
      





Q: What's blue and fluffy?
A: Blue fluff.
(www.comedycentral.com)



Poor Old Man         
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"
The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"
(www.comedycentral.com)


You know it is time to reassess your relationship with
your computer when....

1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and
stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if
you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just
for the free internet access.

4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

5. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.

6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
processor.com

7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a
computer.

8. When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really
depressed.

9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they
have nondescript screen name and you never bothered to ask.

10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you
landscape.

11. Your family always knows where you are.

12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL".

13. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!
(www.ajokeaday.com)


Der Lehrer gibt die Hausarbeiten zurck.
"Lisa, du musst deinen Aufsatz noch einmal schreiben, und zwar so, dass es auch ein Dummer versteht."
"Gut, Herr Lehrer! Aber knnen Sie mir vorher vielleicht sagen, welche Abstze Sie nicht verstehen?"
(www.witz-des-tages.de)